we [the dad] :: team dad blog

Win Some Lose Some

"Just Win Baby." The Al Davis special.

"Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing"--attributed to Vince Lombardi, though there are those who claim he never said it.

No matter; it's the spirit of those statements that has me conflicted. Let me just say it's funny how we change after we have kids. When I was younger (oh great, one of those "reminiscent moments")--and by younger I mean everything before right now--I live by those mantras. Winning was the only thing, and if rules needed to be bent to achieve that then so be it.

On the one hand I want my kids to be ethical, moral individuals, on the other hand I want them to be happy, and happy people are winning people. Competition can be a good thing. But it's hard to see in yourself, when you stop into "poor loser"-ville and get a room for a few nights. But then you see some fool playing poker across the table from you (yeah, you know who you are Fool), complaining ad nauseam that another player is making bad plays, in a way that is demeaning and just plain rude & belittling, and it becomes easy to see how "poor loser"-ville booms into a metropolis full of mock-turtleneck-wearing a-holes.

You notice when it's not you, it's easy, and you think how sad this little man is, and you think "I want my kids to be winners, but how to teach them grace at the same time?"

B/c the fact is, that "poor loser" is going to end up getting punched in the mouth by someone less adjusted than myself, and he won't ever "get it" but in some ways he'll deserve it.

You want them to be winners, you want your kids to have that killer instinct, but how to teach them not to be that guy, how to not be yourself that guy?

Gender-to-English Translation Quiz

You can translate away every other language barrier using the web (rather badly of course). So I guess this is the last frontier, either that or translating toddler-talk. I still can't understand Jude 1/3 of the time.

Anyway, here's a little quiz, to check your translation mettle. (Answers found at the bottom . . . in Spanish (just kidding))

1. We'll see, honey . . .  = ________________

2. No, of course I don't mind at all . . . = ________________

3. Do we have any plans this weekend? =  _________________

4. We're just going to stay in and make brownies . . . = __________________

If you answered, "who cares!", to all of these, then you obviously eat for 1 a lot (meaning you are single single single. And if you answered, "I have no idea!", to all of these then may the gods help you.

(Answers: 1. "Do you really want to lose this argument in front of everyone?" 2. "I don't NOT mind" 3. "I'd like to ask if I can go out with the guys, but  I very well could have forgotten something important we were doing." 4. "Sorry dude, I asked and can't meet up at the bar for a couple of beers.")

"No you're not"

Scarlett is the stubbornest person on the planet the second most stubborn person on the planet (she has to come from somewhere, right?). She always has the right answer, even if she doesn't. It's funny how that works, how they resemble . . . you.

Scarlett is ready to read; she's been ready for sometime now. I've known it for awhile. Problem is, she refuses to let me teach her anything. This is infuriating. I am a teacher for chrissakes! And yet I can't even convince her that I am a teacher.

I say things like "Scarlett, you know your dad's a teacher, right?" to which she replies, "no you're not." She has always been this way. Her preschool teacher had all the luck. Scarlett would come home counting back from ten in Spanish or asking for some "Agua" to drink. This was when she was 2-yrs-old. But at home she would hide in her room and teach herself math or how to write her name, only to spring it upon us after she had accomplished the thing. Complete stranger? Teach away. Her own father? Nada. so i try to sneak it in whenever possible.

One way is through the computer. Scarlett loves Princess Dressup games on the computer (who doesn't?). So we've worked out a deal. First sjhe mus spend some time on Starfall.com

My buddy Dave (a fine teacher himself) turned me on to the is website and it is worth it to anyone who is trying to teach a toddler to read, spell, etc. It moves forward very methodically and actually has a "plan" for teaching this kind of stuff. It's quite good. Apparently actual teachers of kids use this resource quite often, I'm told (I teach college kids, so hopefully I don't need to use it on them all that often). Anyway,  Scarlett really likes it. It's not Princess Dress-up, but it runs a close second.

Check out this letter to parents produced by Starfall that speaks to the methodology and ease-of-use.